Every year the United Nations, hosts an event called the CSW- The Commission on the Status of Women during Women’s History month. The UNCSW is always a powerful gathering of people dedicated to exploring where women have been – where women are – where women could be. Last year the CSW drew 6,000+ women AND men to the UN. I was honored to have been a part of it as a speaker, moderator and attendee.
Due to my busy schedule this year, I wasn’t as available for as many events, but was invited to speak at an event hosted by Tanya Jones, MD who wanted to convene a variety of perspectives on resource sharing. Due to my expertise in the area of global transformation and helping women step fully into their power, I was invited to deliver a speech on helping women find their voice.
I found the event itself moving, but it was one particular audience member who nearly brought me to tears. She shared that she was HIV positive and the care giver of her sister who had been a very accomplished woman but suffered a break with reality and was diagnosed with a mental illness.
She expressed she was honored to be in the audience listening to what we had said, and afterwards came directly to me and asked for coaching.
“Please tell me what I can do. I am living with HIV and all of the resources want us to come to them. We are ashamed. We are living despair. We don’t know what we can do”.
I stared deeply into her eyes, taking her in and listened with full empathy. Her pain was palpable. What can we do? Her body and her word pleaded with me for an answer.
I looked her in the eyes and told her the first and most important thing she could do is to STOP referring to herself as DESPAIR.
I told her: The biggest and most important shift you could make at this very moment is to shift how you frame yourself to yourself and others through language.
I told her: You are MORE than your condition. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR HIV. Your life is MORE THAN DESPAIR. In fact, what I see is a beautiful woman, who is doing her best to live the life she knows deep inside she deserves. Her life that is more than her condition.
Her eyes filled with tears.
I told her: I know you feel that the world is against you and doesn’t love you. I know you feel that the world isn’t on your side, but the way you send a message to the world is by being on your own side. The way you claim your power is by not becoming your own worst enemy through the words you use. The biggest message you can send to the world is to frame yourself in words of love that support and honor you.
She sniffed and nodded and her physiology revealed to me that she understood that this shift was the first step towards stepping into her power.
I truly believe that one of the most simple and important shifts we can make is to pay attention to our language. So many of us use words that harm ourselves. Along my journey, the first shift I made towards shining my light into the world came from learning to love myself through shifting the way I spoke about myself to myself and to others. Healing comes through framing.
I hope this message supports you whenever you feel like you want to call yourself an idiot, or believe you don’t deserve to have the love and success that is yours for the making and taking.
I wish you so much love. SHINE!
Ozioma of BurnBright
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